Do you remember last time you ate a piece of food in minecraft? It was probably a minute ago. Sadly many nubs starve to death everyday because they are too dum to go to warp food and buy the necessary farming equipment to be able to sustain themselves. Thankfully the Nub Charity Organization is here to help feed them but we need your support. For just 30 pounds a day you can help buy food for nubs every day. So  please just reach into your heart and your wallet and help these poor nubs.
Nub: Can I have armor PLEEAASSEE!!!!!!
Narrator: WHY YOU UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Director: CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
John Archaius - The Inventor whose machines usually blow up.