The Brand New Baking Show has already hit homes world wide causing an outbreak of chocolate and strawberry cakes! Everybody ducked down when Granny’s hot crossed bun oven spat out too many hot crossed buns causing the world to slightly implode for a short amount of time. Everybody world wide has now signed a petition to remove this show and replace it with Master Chow Down to remove any other accidents that might induce Global Corning further, Granny has decided to apologise on WTT news today

“I apologise to all the people who I have made obese, and all the kids who are on a sugar rush,” and after that announcement that pretty much wraps up news for today!

Newb Eats Carrots

this meme has been repeated over 2.8 billion times recently. It came over an alleged wizard assasin tried to steal little iOdiwanKenobi’s carrots, iOdiwanKenobi then decided to shove all the carrots in his mouth and yell “NEWB EATS CARROTS!” The alleged assasin then decided to bolt towards a PVP free area leaving the Newb home free.

*~*1.9 update: the story the piratecraft elite wont let you know*~*

(this is conspiracy theorist trope btw, be prepared)

There I was, building my city, when a man, who shall remain anonymous, knocked on my gate, this is his story, word-for-word from the interview:

[Me (M)]- “so, [REDACTED], you say you have some information on why the 1.9 update is taking so long to get to PirateCraft, tell me about that.”

[NOTE: this was prior to the 1.9 update unleashing onto PirateCraft]

[Anonymous (A)]- “yes, thats right, I dont have much time, admins and GodsDead himself are monitoring the logs, looking to see any wistleblowers, I’m gonna have to delete some log info after this, I’m taking a huge risk here, I hope you know.”

[m]- “Yes, I see, now, please tell me the info you wish to share, I have a word document open.”

[A]- “ok, a while back, the admins all had a little meeting, they wanted to discuss the 1.9 update, with the recent banning of Elexander, the discussion was brought up of PvP crews getting stronger than they already are due to the updates more realistic fighting mechanics.”

[m]- “I see, what was said?”

[A]- “well, they wanted to start monitoring PvP crews more closely, CoV, Solis, even Creed, they were fearing an uprising, and they thought this update may just be the final straw.”

[m]- “But some of the admins are apart of CoV, how did they think they would react to this?”

[A]- “they tried to convince us that those crews are too powerful, they wanted us to spy on them.”

[there is a pause of around a minute]

[m]- “you still with me, [REDACTED]?

[A]- “yeah, I’m here, editing the data log.”

[m]- “I see, and why are you telling me this?”

[A]- “because you’re trustworthy, truth is, I dont know”

[A]- “the server is about to restart, I wont be on after it, if you’re gonna discuss this with someone, have it be everyone”

the conversation ends, the next day he refuses to talk about the topic, and a while later, suposedly due to a civilian knowing of this scheme, the server is updated to 1.9, no admin ever discussed this topic with me again

~Chasedillon123, the M-Files

My entry, the interesting puffer fish discovery:

After almost a month of false starts, one piratecraft player has made an interesting discovery regarding the common pufferfish. The player, 4 days 3 hours of ingame time, has been trying to discover a cure for some particularly debilitating respiratory diseases when he came across this unconventional use for the fish. “Well, it wasnt quite what I wanted but it is a good lead to what I am looking for and has commercial value in itself so I’m happy with the outcome”. The pufferfish, of which some species are among the most poisonous vertebrates in the world, mostly contain a potent neurotoxin inside their internal organs and sometimes skin. The player is unsure of how this may affect the body to give the necessary changes in a persons physiology to allow for limited underwater survival. “Yes, it was quite a shock to me when I discovered that by simply brewing this fish a potion that allows the user to breath underwater is created”. The player has published his method and results online so that this potion can be created by anyone. (http://www.piratecraft_players_method_of_breathing_underwater.com)

We here at piratecraft news are not just content with reporting secondhand information though, so a reporter was sent to try out the potion and write about their own experience:

After travelling for almost 2 hours on horseback, I reached the makeshift laboratory that the player has been working at. I was spotted as I reached the gates and greeted warmly – the player was interested in getting publicity for his discovery. After listening to him describe the effects of the potion we made our way down to the beach and I watched as he prepared a flask. “Now remember, you only get 8 minutes of the water breathing ability so be sure to get to the surface well before this time runs out” warned the player. I nodded my agreement.

Upon consuming the potion, I was overcome by a sense of freedom in my chest – as though my lungs had shedded a thick skin and where no longer inhibited by my body. It took a while for me to become accustomed to my usual state after the potion had run out, and was almost a dissapointment after experiencing the sensations of the potion. I noticed a timer near the top of my inventory and smiled my appreciation. I would not have to rely on guesswork to get back to the shore in time.

The potion really was remarkable. After swimming out to deeper water, I dived down and plunged through the sea. I noticed no adverse effects on myself as I swam, and the poisonous nature of the fish was removed during the treatment necessary to create this potion. There is no greater feeling than that which I felt as I skimmed the ocean floor and smiled at the fish around me. After enjoying myself for a while, I swam up to shore and joined the potion’s inventor.

The player who created this potion has stated that he will not get sidetracked with this discovery. He still very much is working for his original aim, and will only market this potion to raise funds for his essential research.